"Take cover!Take cover!" The scene was chaotic. The Japanese Zero Fighter planes were bombarding the entire of Singapore. The people were screaming and yelling, frantically looking for cover. In a hurry, I rushed to the closest shelter I could find. The time was 1943, and the Japanese had just began their invasion of Singapore. It was the third air raid this week, but we knew it was just the beginning. It was this that struck horror into the minds of the people. However, the invasion could not be stopped. The Japanese military army was just too inferior. All of us knew it, even the British, and I had the feeling that the day was approaching,fast! As the last of the fighter planes flew off, we came out of our shelters. To our horror, the streets were filled with dead bodies. The sight was so horrific, that it would be stuck in my mind for days to come. Houses were blown apart, bodies filled the street, it was as if the world had turned upside down. That was when I relised, I had to evacuate the place, or else I would end up dead, with a bullet through my head.
Unlike other people, there was another reason why I feared the Japanese. If I was caught, I was a dead man. The reason was simple, I was part of Force 163, an anti-Japanese organisation, which supplies defence for those enemy-occupied countries. My identity as an intelligence agent was unknown to the world, right up till my former ally backstabbed us and revealed our names to the Japanese, in exchange for freedom, which was just a hoax by the Japanese for the truth. He never got it.That was the difference between me and him. I was born and raised in Singapore, and would always be loyal.I was a Singaporean, even if it cost me my life.
I escaped, clinging on to my life, to Force 163 headquarters, which was the safest place I could think of. I met my commander, which informed me of the situation in Singapore. It was as bad as I thought. The Japanese nearly had the entire Singapore in control. I had to prepare myself for battle, for the worst. We armed our rifle, stocked up our ammunition, and got ready for the attack.
It was soon past midnight, and their was not even a glimpes of the Japanese. Then, suddenly, we heard footsteps not far from our base. We took cover in the well-dug trenches and prepared ourself for the attack. Then, we saw them. We were outnumbered one is to ten. I was in shock. I never thought that we were in such a disadvantage. I was rooted to the ground, and was still for a moment, thinking of my actions. Then, I remembered, I was always going to be loyal to Singapore, even if it cost me my life. I picked up my rifle, and started to fire against the Japanese. The battle had begun. Gunshots could be heard miles away. The sound was so loud, I was starting to get frightened from it. Still, we were not giving up. We were to stand our ground, and surrender. However, we were no match, and after several troops went down, the Japanese managed to capture the members of Force 163.
From there, I knew, it was the end. They were never going to release me. We were frogmarched to their prison, all of us. Upon arrival, it seemed like a total nightmare! I wondered how I could live in such conditions. The cell was so cramped, yet they were to fit at least ten people in one. It smelt like dead bodies, and was so unbearable, that living there seemed imposible. Every single day, I was brought to the interrogation chamber, where they would question me, torture me and would make me feel as if dying was a better option. I could not stand it, I was going crazy. The torture was too much, but I was never going to betray Singapore, even if I was meant to die.
My final days were approaching. It has been a year since I was in prison. Life was like hell in there. My body was so weak, I did not even have the stregth to stand up! I was suffering from many diseases, and I knew I would not make it. As they brought me to the interrogation room for the final time, I took a final glance at the cell, which I would always remember. The life I led, the pain I suffered. I did not reply to the Japanese, and they did not show any mercy. They set me on the electric chair and turnd it on. That, was the end of my life. However, I left the face of the Earth, forever loyal to my home, Singapore!
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Benjamin, I like the fact that you've chosen to write a story in Singapore's historical past, and during WW2 at that. This is a period that is ripe for exploring conflict. But when you decide to write about the past, your details must be especially accurate and vivid, because anyone could always compare your story to the historical record.
ReplyDeleteAnd right now, I don't quite feel like you're there yet. First of all, your entire story is told as a recounted summary, with very vague details, and it tries to cover too much time. You need to actually write this as a narrative told in a scene, possibly when the narrator is captured by the Japanese and thrown into detention. The reader needs to experience the story as it's happening, which means SHOWING, NOT TELLING.
Force 163 seems to be your own invention since I can't find it in a Google search, but why do you need this organization anyway? If your narrator is part of the Singaporean military he'd be imprisoned and interrogated in just this way, so just make him an army officer or something instead.
A serious logical question: how can the narrator tell his story if he's dead?
You also need to very carefully proofread your work. There are lots of careless errors here in subject-verb agreement, verb tense, etc. As well as several contradictions, for example: "We were to stand our ground, and surrender."